Battling the Storm, Without Letting it Take Control

Posted: March 14, 2015 in Bipolar Disorder
The storm continues to rage on but I am dealing with it much better today. For those of you who didn’t read yesterday’s post, I had a bad day; a “bipolar day” as I call them, and today it continues. Yesterday I threw myself into the first step of my Spring cleaning, which was completely gutting out Kaleb’s bedroom and the work was a good distraction. Several hours after I began, his room was done and I was feeling a little more in control. 

Last night my sleep was plagued by nightmares. This happens often when I am in a bad place mentally. I never remember them but I awake gripped with fear, breathless, and trembling. Last night when I awoke I quickly sprang to me feet, rushed to Kaleb’s room and climbed into his big, warm bed. Cuddling my son I slowly fell back to sleep and the nightmares were gone. 

Today I awoke feeling much like I did yesterday. My head hurts from the chaos that is my thoughts and feelings- frustration, irritability, anger, sadness, anxiousness, rage. I wish I could turn it off, just flick a switch and the madness would just shut off. But it isn’t that easy so instead I keep trudging on, keep battling the storm, throwing myself into anything that will distract me and get me through this day. 

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