And the world keeps spinning…

Posted: March 19, 2015 in Life and the Pursuit of Balance & Happiness
Tags: , , ,

I am proud to say that I am a recent college graduate at the ripe old age of 34. No, I know that’s not a ripe or old age, but as a single mother of 2 boys, a teenager and a preteen, I am overpowered by testosterone, and, damn it, I feel old! However my great accomplishment (and yes I am patting my own back because I went to school full time, commuted 2 hours everyday, ran my own small business AND was a full time single Mama!) is, it’s  not what’s on my mind. 

My college program was nearly 2 years long. I had a small class of 8 ladies, myself included, who ranged in age from 18 to 40. Naturally, when you put 8 women in a room together for hours on end we became a bunch of cackling hens, and before long we had formed many friendships. We went to lunch together weekly at least, went shopping together after school, ran errands together on breaks, studied together and helped each other with homework and assignments, talked and texted during the evenings and on weekends, and were often a source of support for each other when the stress got to us. 

There was one girl in our class, and I call her a girl because she was just that at 18 years old. I will call her Kelly. Her and I appeared  to be a most unlikely pair, and, realistically, we were. However that didn’t stop us from becoming fast, and very close friends. Within just a few months of starting school I was picking her up every morning, hanging out with her on breaks, having lunch together everyday. We were inseperable. At times her youth was a breath of fresh air. At other times it was a reminder than I was so much older than her. At times she obviously viewed me as a peer while at other times she looked to me for advice that only a older,more experienced person could provide.  However our age gap affected the friendship it never hendered it and I came to value her friendship immensely. 

Kelly wasn’t the only close friend I had made in those early months. Dana (named changed) and I also became close friends and spent a lot of time together. We were closer in age than Kelly and I, just 3 years apart.  At Christmas time I made ugly Christmas sweaters for Dana and her husband, and she knitted me a soft, fluffy scarf. We would call each other to compare answers as we did homework at night. Like Kelly and I, we often went to lunch, worked together on homework, and provided plenty of support and encouragement to each other as needed. 

Cecily (again, named changed) was my third close friend and our friendship was similar to that of what I shared with Kelly and Dana. In fact, the 4 of us spent a lot of time together as a foursome, and with the other girls in our class. Cecily and I also shared a secret that could cause us both an enormous amount of trouble had it been found out, but, as friends do, I did what I had to do to help a friend even if it meant I could possibly pay for it in the long run. We kept that secret quiet and carried it with us after graduation.

The two years spent in college flew by as time often does. The weeks leading up to graduation were busy and exciting but at same time bittersweet. We were working on fundraising for our grad, picking out dresses, getting measured for our cap and gown, listening to music to choose the song for our march, writing speeches, choosing decorations, discussing dinner options and photographer, and amidst it all, studying for finals- our final finals. We had our big day planned to perfection- a short ceremony in cap and gown where we would receive our fake diplomas (which would be replaced with the real deal after the completion of our course) that would be held in the conference room of a hotel, followed by a sit down dinner complete with speeches and presentations in their formal dining room, photos taken by a professional photographer afterwards, and we would then, once our children and families had gone home, celebrate at one of our classmates home before heading out to the bar, all of us as a group. The day went off without a hitch and we had a great time. We had tons of pictures taken together and the entire day was the perfect end to our time together.

Our time together was indeed coming to an end. Just a few weeks later, after finals, we would each be going our separate ways to various work terms and our new futures. We would no longer be together everyday. We were each moving on to bigger and better things with our newly earned college diplomas in hand. However, after many discussions on the topic we agreed that even though our time together as students was ending our friendships were not. We would talk often, meet for lunch when we could, get together on weekends, and the friendships we had formed would be forever a part of us. 

School was over and although I was glad to no longer have to commute for 2 hours everyday, or study and do mountains of homework, although I was happy to be finished and proud of what I had accomplished, I was also a little sad and lonely. For two years I had spent 5 days of every week with the same group of women. They had become my family away from my family, my closest friends, and my continuous sounding board, and I missed them terribly. 

We had a 2 weeks break between the end of school and the start of our work term and we, the 4 of us, talked often during that time. Then our work terms began, life got busier, and we didn’t talk quite as much. But I didn’t give it a moments thought. 

We were friends- close friends- the kind of friends that last a lifetime. We had been there for each other during a turning point in all of our lives. We helped each other through struggles, celebrated our triumphs together, encouraged each other, listened to each other’s problems and helped solve them when we could.  We wouldn’t drift apart, would we? 

But we did. 

At first we all made an attempt to keep in touch, with texts every couple of days. The lunch dates we had planned never happened- there was just never a convenient time when any 2 of us were available at the same time. The transition from school to a job meant longer days and our weekends were spent catching up on the things we didn’t have time for during the week rather than getting together as we had planned. Within a month of finishing school we barely spoke at all, we hadn’t seen each other since the last day of school, and the realization was obvious- our friendships had ended when school had. 

Do I miss those 3 women who had shared my life for 2 very important years of it? Everyday. But that’s just the way it goes though right. Some people come into your life for a lifetime, others for a short time. Some friendships last a lifetime, while others for just a season. You meet people, some of which impact your life while others are just a fleeting memory. People leave. Lives change. Things happen. Days get busy. Families grow. Your learn. You grow. And all the while the world keeps spinning on it’s axis. 

And that my friends, is what is on my mind today. 

  1. afthead says:

    This was a great post. I kept hoping that at least one of the friends would stick around, but was afraid they wouldn’t. You kept me reading until the end. I was also drawn in because my mom went back to school when I was 15. I bet your boys are proud of you, and if they aren’t now, they will be later in life.


    • Writingofpassage says:

      Thank you very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it. That’s awesome for your mom as well 🙂


      • afthead says:

        I totally forgot I had a question for you too. Did you KNIT your friend and her husband ugly sweaters or did you make them some other way? Please tell me you didn’t spend hours knitting something that you’ll never get to see again. That would make me, as a knitter, so sad.


      • Writingofpassage says:

        Lol I wasn’t very specific in that description was I. No I didn’t knit them. Bought the sweaters at the thrift store and turned them into ugly Christmas sweaters using felt, wool(for stitching), tiny sparky Pom
        Poms, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

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