Adventures in Online Dating: Mixed Signals

Posted: March 22, 2015 in Marriage, Love, Dating, and, yes, Sex!
Tags: , ,

As I recently posted in The Online Dating Pool I have been curious to see what was out there in the world of online dating. I created an account on Plenty of Fish, mainly because it’s free and not at all because I thought it was the site with the most potential, but I gave it a shot. 

It was there that I met a nice guy that I will call Abs, because well, he sent me a pic of his Abs, not in a perverted narcissistic way, but more like we were talking about working out and he told me about his workout routines and the conversation moved on to his 6pack which, of course, I wanted to see so he sent be a pic and I was like sweet!!  But, I digress. I will call him Abs because that my friends was one of my favourite parts of him! Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t bad looking, has a nice smile, just the right amount of facial hair (I like them a little scruffy) and from what I have learned about him during our conversations he is an hard working bad, a mans man, he’s respectful and well mannered, family oriented, isn’t looking for a one night stand or meaningless sex, and is romantic. All great traits right? Yes indeed. So what’s the problem? These damn mixed signals. Let me explain….

On Wednesday night we lay awake (both snug in our beds, hours away geographically, iPhones in hand) talking (texting) until the wee hours of the morning. We talked about our past relationship (were both recently single), our kids (we both have boys), our jobs (were both working class people who enjoy what we do), cars (we both love old cars but drive girly, fuel efficient cars), and yes the more personal things- love (were both hopeless romantics) and sex (we both have healthy sex drives). Sounds like a perfect match right? That’s what I was thinking, and what we both expressed, that night. We fought to stay awake and when we couldn’t anymore we said goodnight, sent each other cyber kisses (aka emoticons in the shape of lips) and promised to talk first thing in the morning. 

The next morning- no text. I texted him and no reponse. Later that evening I finally got a response. He’d been busy helping his dad with some work all day. Sweet, and a reasonable explanation. We chatted for 5 minutes tops, he had to run an errand and told me he would text as soon as he got back. Hours passed and no text. I texted him late that night, which just moments later it showed he had read it, but still no response- until the next evening when his messages were short and empty. That night he once again starting messaging with what can only be described as “sweet talk” for several minutes, then abruptly stopped talking, although my messages to him bad been read. I messaged twice more and still no reponse so I gave up and went to bed.  He had suddenly gone silent. Had I said something wrong? 

The next day, which was yesterday, I texted simply “Good morning” with a friendly smiley. Read, no response! Then later in the day the messages went like this….


I was out of town for the day with my kids and my oldest sons band for a bands competition but I managed to get a minute to respond periodically through out the day…..




When I finally got home last night I texted him as I said I would and it went like this….


And once again, no response although as you can clearly see, it was read. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that it was very late at night, or more accurately, very early in the morning. However, he was obviously still awake, had taken the time to read my message, yet didn’t respond. A considerate thing would been to have sent a quick text, even if just to say “sleeping, talk later”, but nothing. This morning, after sleeping in, I texted to say good morning. Again, read and no response. But the whole hot and cold treatment got me to thinking…… 

Maybe all the sweet talk really was just talk! Maybe everything I thought I knew about him was a lie. Realistically, this guy was a complete stranger. What did I really know about him- his name and where he’s from! And let’s face it, when it comes to these sites, who is actually telling the truth?  Maybe there is a lot this guy isn’t telling, and although he claims that he hasn’t met anyone decent on the site (until me- his words), maybe there are more women getting mixed signals from this guy. 

Or could it have been me? Did I say something that offended him or turned him off? I feel pretty confident that my pictures weren’t the issue, as he reacted very enthusiastic about it, gushing over how beautiful he thought I was. Maybe it was something I had said, or not said. 

There are a lot of maybes but there’s one thing I know for sure- this guy is hard to read!

So, although I haven’t given up entirely on Abs (those abs really are hard to give up on!) and I have yet to find anyone else that I find interesting, I am not pulling my hook out of the water just yet! 



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