Guppies, Weirdos, and the Friendzone- Adventures in Online Dating 

Posted: March 23, 2015 in Marriage, Love, Dating, and, yes, Sex!
Tags: , ,

*Sigh* I’m fairly certain that the dating pool at Plenty of Fish is filled with guppies, and there’s not one gold fish to be found. I have even disabled my profile for a little while. Maybe if I’m lucky all the guppies will be caught by the time I enable it to be viewed again. 

I guess you remember Abs from my last post. He’s the guy with the killer abs, so-so looks, lots of sweet talk, and mixed signals. Well, I have thrown that fish back into the water. I clearly let him know that I do not play games and did not have the time, nor the interest, to waste time getting to know someone when there is no potential for a relationship of any sort. I nicely told him to take care, deleted our message history, and removed him from my contacts. There is something about deleting the contact that just gives you closure, isn’t it?  So, he has been released back into the pool. His abs will be missed. 

I met a cutie on Sunday whom I will call Dan. Dan’s pictures were adorable- a couple of him alone with his short dark hair, dark brown eyes and a cute grin, and then a couple of him with his adorable blond haired little boy- and when we started talking he seemed normal enough. During the conversation he asked what I found attractive in a man. I listed the usual things- funny, good conversation- and a few physical traits, one of which being nice teeth. A completely honest and normal answer. Well, apparently he does not have nice teeth because he started running off about crooked front teeth and a couple of missing molars. I quickly changed the subject before he felt compelled to send me his most recent dental X-ray. We managed to move past that, and I was beginning to enjoy our chat. Till he told me he still shared an apartment with his ex and their child. Sorry Dan, too much baggage! 

Another fish to bite my hook on Sunday was a guy I will call The Listener, simply because his profile mentioned several times how much he loved to listen to a woman talk. A good trait or trying to hard? I gave him the benefit of a doubt and replied to his catchy opening. However when his messages turned out to be a rambling mess I knew he was a throw back! While I don’t expect an online chat to be Pulitzer Prize material, I do expect use of the the English language beyond a third grade level. 

Of all the men I have chatted with, there is only one that still remains in my inbox. I will call him Clarke. Clarke and I met on my first night on POF. Let me tell you a bit about this guy…..

He’s a techy, works in electronics (sales and service), is educated, articulate, artistic, likes to read, and write and can carry on an interesting conversation for hours. Sounds like everything I would want in a guy right? Pretty much. There is just one problem…..

I am not at all attracted to his appearance. Not even in the least little bit. Which really sucks because this guy and I have so much in common and our conversations flow so freely and openly. Were both a combination of crazy, sane, and nerd all rolled into one! 

So, I did the only thing I could do when his messages became flirty- I told him the truth, that I could see us being great friends but not romantically involved. He was dissapointed at first, but quickly bounced back and we continued to talk for hours. He is a great guy and we are comfortably in the Friend Zone!

So, my current status is simple. I’ve pulled my hook from the water temporarily. Maybe in a few days I will toss it back out there but right now this fisher person needs a break! It’s exhausting, seriously, replying to all these messages, looking at their photos, picking apart the few details they give about themselves on their profile and then asking and answering a mountain of questions. Sometimes I feel like an interrogator! I’m not retiring from fishing entirely, just putting away my hook and line for a few days! 


  1. Linda says:

    Oh…POF. I haven’t ever been on it, but my brother-in-law stayed with us for about three months when he and his long term girlfriend separated and as a “curiosity” (*eye-roll*) he tried out that site. I love my husband and because of that, I am as cordial to my BIL as I can be, but he is a hound and in no way needs to be on one of those sites. I secretly warned all the girls I could…
    I hope the overly charming, trying too hard, hound dogs out there don’t try to get you. I wish you the best!


  2. bipolarwhisper says:

    “lots of other fish in the sea” *winks* you will find your guy when the time is right girlie!

    Liked by 1 person

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