Once upon a time in the land of online dating a 30-something year old woman who we will call Me meets a 30-something year old man who we have already come to know in precious posts as Clarke- the funny tech nerd who meets all of her intellectual expectations. Their chats are long, often deep and emotional, just as often hilarious and a little twisted (with just the right amount of comic relief), and sometimes completely ordinary- jobs, kids (he has none, she does), hobbies, music, movies, and the list goes on and on. On paper, err iPhone screen, they appear to be the perfect couple. So, what makes this tale of the search for love via the World Wide Web so tragic? There is no chemistry, no romantic inclination, no butterflies, no spark. They have entered into the Friendzone which has a one way door!
You really need to witness this friendship unfolding on screen to appreciate it for the crazy, goofy, wonderful, sweet thing that it is.
Exhibit 1:
Clarke: Pssssssst. Your pretty.
Me: Awww shucks. (Blushing) thanks doll!
Clarke: Never need to thank me for the truth.
Me: I bet you say that to all the girls 🙂
Clarke: I tell everyone they dont need to thank me for the truth.
Me: I meant the pretty part silly goose
Exhibit 2:
Me: Still up?
Hours later, Clarke: Mmmmmmmm you said you were going to bed – yawns and crawls in with you cuddling , burries his face in your hair and snores lightly-
Me: Aww your too sweet. I fell asleep seconds after my last message
Clarke: Mmmm what did ya want doll? -murrs- and trust me im not that sweet .
Me: Nothing. Just to talk to you
Clarke: -chuckles- thats adorable.
Exhibit 3:
Clarke: Was cursing on fitted sheets. Thinking about lunchs for tomorrow. wonder what your thinkin. Amongst onevir two other things.
Me: Work tomorrow? I hate fitted sheets! And I hate packing lunches too. Sandwiches are usually a safe bet. I like egg best but let’s face it, it’s not worth the awkward looks you’ll get when the smell floats from the sandwich container. I’m thinking about my cousins husbands bday party this weekend and how I promised that I would be there unless I was dying, dead, in jail or hospital but my fucking anxiety is getting the better of me already and it’s still 4 days away!
Clarke: -licks your cheek-
Me: Ewwwwwww
Clarke: See! Anxiety gone!
Seriously! I couldn’t make this stuff up! This guy is a complete and total goof ball sweetie pie teddy bear!
Why, oh why, can I not fall for a good guy?
Writing of Passage 
Stick with it and try to see what happens, without expectation. I had a very wise therapist once suggest to me that if you feel that buzz the first time you meet someone…that ‘chemistry’ is what has sucked you in so many times before and didn’t work. The guy though, who’s nice, interesting, has common interests and values who you feel no chemistry for…that’s where real love can develop- because real love grows over time, it’s not that lightning bolt that makes us get into the same relationship over and over only to go bust.
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That was a very wise therapist indeed. That really makes sense! Great advise, thank you! I am giving it a a shot and so far, so good!
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