Today is my birthday and it’s my happiest adult birthday to date for so many reasons…..

Because it’s the first birthday that I have been truly grateful to be alive because there were so many times over the past several months that I wish I weren’t, that I thought about not being. But today, I am happy I am. 

Because I am understanding myself so much more than I have in many years. I get that I’m not not “normal” and you know what, I’m fine with that! Fuck normal! Slightly crazy is so much more fun! 

Because I have two absolutely awesome kids to share this day with. My almost 17 year old son (Big K) asks me yesterday- Mom, what do you want for your birthday? I’m going shopping with The Aunt to get you something. I thought about it for a moment and then it hit me- my teenage son remembered my birthday on his own and wanted to buy me a present. Best gift ever!! He’s a pretty amazing kid, they both are, and after thinking about it for a little while I realized that, I can’t be too messed up. If I were how could I have raised such awesome kids all on my own! 

Because I woke up this morning the same smiling person who went to bed last night. 

Because my family will go out of their way to make my day special. My mom will cook me a huge dinner and bake me a cake, my sister and my niece and nephew will all come to dinner and it will be a family affair. We do this every year for each of our birthdays but this year, when I know I’ve caused them so much stress, worry, fear, heartache, and sadness, it reminds me that despite all of this, they still love me. They haven’t given up on me, and they never will. No matter how unhinged I become, they will always be there. 

Because of a great guy, who for now is a cyber “friend”, who sent me cyber kisses and birthday wishes first thing this morning and continues to send me sweet nothing’s all day. It’s truly incredible how one person who is  nearly a stranger can have such a major impact on your life. In the past several weeks he’s pushed me along as I crawled out from underneath a shell and made me realize how awesome I still am and I love him for that!

Because of much needed closure on a chapter of my life- the final chapter in a book that was a long time in the making, on a marriage and a love that was hopeless. 

Because I’m writing again, for the first time in years. And because of all of you, who are my audience. 

Because I am realizing that yes, my twenties and even most of my thirties are behind me, and yes, a lot of them were a total wreck but I have so many great years ahead of me. 

Because I feel great!! I feel happy!! I feel like ME!! 

Happy birthday to me 🙂 

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Comments
  1. dianetharp70 says:

    Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy your day & birthday weekend! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Birthday ❤
    Annie

    Like

  3. hbhatnagar says:

    Hope you had a very, very Happy Birthday!

    Like

  4. Happy belated! I hope it was amazing!

    Like

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