World Bipolar Day: March 30th, 2015

Today is World Bipolar Day.   

 Mental illness, including Bipolar, is nothing to be ashamed of or feared!

Bipolar is a brain disorder that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

Did you know people with bipolar disorder are often very artistic and talented people? Many famous people have lived with bipolar including Ernest Hemingway, Kurt Cobain, Demi Lovato, Marilyn Monroe, Edgar Allan Poe, Axl Rose, Catherine Zeta Jones, Britney Spears, and many more! 

  

  

I have Bipolar Disorder. My diagnosis came nearly 11 months ago, after an emotional breakdown (low phase- depression) that lasted almost 3 weeks and included hours of crying, fear of being alone, extreme anxiety, feelings of helplessness and so much more. Although I was only diagnosed within the past year, it is believed by myself and my psychiatrist, that I have been battling this illness since my early teens. 

  

This disorder has affected my life in so many ways, but the diagnosis has actually been good for me. 

I finally know what is wrong with me after so many years of living in the darkness of the unknown. 

Although at this stage in my life I have come to terms with my diagnosis, I still at times struggle with certain aspects of it. For example, I still suffer from a lot of anxiety, particularly in crowds or public places. I no longer go out with my friends the way I once did, but I am working on it! Although I graduated college last year I have been unable to seek employment in my field of study and am only able to work part time in my previous field, but I hope to change that as well.  I have amplified hearing almost all the time which can be tough living with a family of 4. Simple household sounds such as the washing machine, silverware clicking on plates, the television, or peoples voices, can be deafening, and often very frustrating. 

I am one of the lucky ones when it comes to medication- my cocktail worked for me on the first try, although my dosages have increased, and will probably continue to do so, over time. I currently take 200m of Seroquel (an antipsychotic) with 150m of Efexor (an antidepressant) on a daily basis. I am also lucky that the amount of meds I take is so low. I know that many people battling this disorder have to take much more. So far, these meds are working for me and I hope I will continue to be as lucky.

  

My bipolar “highs” are generally characterized by periods of extreme energy. My mind and body just want to go, go, go, and it does, because there is nothing I can do to stop it. I start a hundred projects, talk a mile a minute because that is how fast my mind is speeding along, and often cannot get the words out as fast as my brain is throwing them at me. I am usually happy and hyper but am also easily irritated and frustrated if someone doesn’t get me. 

 

My low phases (depression) are the complete opposite- I barely talk at all, I and I have no energy or interest in doing anything. I cry, a lot. I feel sad and angry at myself for being so weak. I want to shut out the world and everyone in it, and I often do just that. Then there are the extreme lows, when the voice of bipolar is louder than my own and I don’t want to be a part of this world anymore. This is the one part of this disorder that truly scares me the most. 

There is still a great amount of stigma surrounding bipolar and other mental illnesses. Many people believe mental illness is  “your own fault” or that it’s all “in your head” and that you can just “shake it off”.  If that were true, don’t you think we would have by now? 

 

The best step in beating the stigma is knowledge! To learn more about bipolar disorder please visit any of these sites…

http://www.mooddisorderscanada.ca/

http://www.thebalancedmind.org

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So today, on a day when Bipolar Disorder is being recognized world wide, be sure to wear green to show your support and share the Bipolar Day logo on your social media site!  

 

Fight the stigma surrounding Bipolar and show your support for all of those who battle with this disorder every day of their lives…..like me!